Blogs
The power of connection
I believe it was Barbra Streisand who sang “People Who Need People,” and after watching The Blue Zones, it’s interesting to note that one of the secrets to longevity and happiness highlighted in the programme is being part of a community and forging connections.
In a world where the younger generation is often perceived as only interested in screens, it might be timely to point out that a sense of belonging and connection—especially face-to-face—is not only beneficial for your health and well-being but also for your career.
Having been in business for quite a few years now, I cannot emphasise enough the importance of two types of connection:
Networking
One of my favourite books is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Not because it’s a particularly good read, but because it’s full of practical tips and perspectives. I personally believe everyone should read it at 16. It would save them years of wasted time trying to figure things out.
Networking is beneficial in so many ways and definitely not difficult. It does require effort, thought, genuineness, and an unselfish perspective. The rewards, however, are countless. I’ve made some of my best friends through networking, simply by taking that extra step to connect and make it meaningful. Whether at work, at an event, or out and about, remember there’s always an opportunity to network and connect—that’s what makes the world go round. And there’s a reason why they say, “It’s who you know, not what you know!”
Remember too, if someone is standing on their own, they’ll likely be delighted if you go over and say hello. It’s about putting your best foot forward and making that effort.
I’ll give you an example of a bit of networking I did this week. My long-suffering Spanish teacher (poor chap, I’m not great!) has a son who wants to go into aeronautical engineering. My former Spanish teacher, who now lives in Madrid and is visiting me, has a husband who works in that industry—so why wouldn’t I connect them? It’s about helping, but it’s also about networking, even if it means getting others to connect when it’s completely outside your own network.
I saw this advice and thought it was very pertinent:
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Think about the why/purpose before organising.
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Manage through trust, not control.
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Promote others, not yourself.
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Build constellations, not stars (my favourite).
Community
When Ian and I started the business, one of our key drivers was knowing that while hospitality might not be the most financially rewarding career for most. We could make a difference by ensuring our team felt heard, seen, and valued as members of a community. Community and the #bmfamily💜💚 remain a real focus for us, and it’s the ‘why’ of bm.
I’ve had two clear moments, many years ago, where a business I catered for required its employees to ‘smile’/be engaging/reflect the statement on the wall behind them! But the truth is, I could clearly see that those employees had no reason to smile. The business had a complete disconnect between the values stated on the wall and reality. No matter how much you tell someone to smile, it won’t be genuine unless there’s a common ‘why’ and purpose within the community. Our #fundamentallyfood sums up why we all love what we do.
To create a community, you have to care, be involved, and be committed to contributing.
It’s also much easier and more rewarding if you create something that is self-perpetuating.
Lessons learned
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Never burn your bridges—you really never know! (Especially since people can turn up later).
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Remember, those you may think have no value today could be your boss tomorrow. It happens—often!
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Just because you don’t think someone has the potential to be the next CEO/Head Chef/Operations Manager, etc., doesn’t mean others don’t see their potential. You’ve only seen them one way—others may have a different experience and perspective.
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Never meet someone with the mindset of “What can they do for me?”
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It takes nothing to be polite, interested, and present when meeting people—so put the phone down.
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It takes absolutely nothing to be kind, to smile, and to show interest.
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Turn off notifications on your smartwatch—it’s incredibly rude to keep glancing at your watch when with people
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Be present when with someone and genuinely interested.
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Always say hello to everyone on the team/in the area when visiting.
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Make yourself available—be open to people who try to network with you.
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If you see a good connection, make the effort to help others.
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There’s no point going to a networking event only to stand and talk to those you already know.
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It’s important to look out for people who can make a difference. The key isn’t about how many people you connect with, but rather the quality of people you bring into your network.
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Wear something a little different so people remember you.
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Take a blank piece of paper and draw out your network/community and how it’s connected—you’ll be surprised how stuck you can get with the same people/circle/places when you see it on paper. So be open to change.
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If someone is standing alone at an event (you know how that feels, I’m sure), make an effort to go and say hello.
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Don’t just contact people when you need something. Reach out when you hear about or see their significant events. Comment on their social media, and reach out whenever you think, “If I were in their shoes, I’d appreciate a connection.”
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Always follow up and always say thank you.